The things I did for love.
Tied ribbons in my hair for you to snag and twist in the crook of your finger
Anchored myself to the ocean floor, my voice screaming in a stream of bubbles rising to the surface where they popped in silence
Imprisoned myself in the cage of your fears, the padlock key hidden away so long ago that I no longer remember its burial place
Weighed every meal to the precise gram so you’d still see me as beautiful
Layered my skin so thick with masks that I forgot who I was underneath
Clipped my wings with the blade of your insecurities, ensuring I would never fly higher than you
Bottled up tears and trauma to spare you their ugliness
Dampened my light to the merest spark (don’t burn too bright)
Swept my mad genius under the rug, appalled when the wind blew too hard and my madness curled out, rising in the stagnant air like wisps of smoke from a smoldering fire
Stamp it down again.
This is not love.
The things I do for love
Stand in the sunshine, my back straight, my arms resting at my sides, my face tilted skywards
Cut the kite string tethering me to your angry hands
Tend my wounds with gentle words
Wash my face free of makeup and grime, fresh and clean, freckles and wrinkles
Open my cage door, stretch my wings
Dive! Knowing I cannot fail
Peel back the rug, let my madness breathe and ignite my soul’s creative spirit
Here I am
I unlock your cage, untie your hair, lift you to the surface to gulp deep breaths of salty ocean air
Here you are.
This is love
These are the things I do for love
*inspired by the vulnerability of a video posted by an old friend; let’s walk each other home